tomfromhr.com a blog on tech, politics, life and zombies

7Sep/124

Doing the Possible

A week or two ago, I came across this post on reddit. For the lazy, a guy remodeled a home, almost completely, starting with little to no knowledge of how to do so.

"Wow, I could never do that," I thought to myself, as jealousy worked its way through my veins. Not that I have any real great urge to buy up a crappy house and fix it up. But it bothered me that I couldn't, that this was out of reach to me.

Today, GFM posted a story about an ex of hers standing up to some verbal harassment, and the same thought ran through my head. And I was more than a little ashamed of myself.

But then I started to think, why couldn't I do either of those things? I can speak. I'm physically able (not in great shape, but I can walk, talk and lift things).

I started to examine all the things in my head I'd dumped into the "not doable, avoid" bin. And it's kind of a big bin, folks.

  • Any kind of team sports.
  • Any do it yourself or home improvement projects.
  • Math or related work.
  • Anything sales/cold calling related.
  • Anything that involves me sleeping on a couch or not in a bed.
  • Anything that involves me suddenly meeting people I'm not 100% comfortable with.
  • Being loved and liked just as I am.
  • Losing weight without some huge sacrifice.
  • Resisting sweets or chips in the house.
  • Camping.
  • Skating.
  • Skateboarding.
  • Driving in a city.
  • Learning a new language.
  • Any kind of singing (in public).
  • Any kind of dancing (in public).
  • Handling the mouths of cats or dogs.
  • PC hardware maintenance/construction.
  • Anything that involves tons of walking.
  • Confront or participate in conflict.
  • Be honestly happy for someone who has hurt me.
  • Be honestly happy for people I'm jealous of.
  • Live in the city.

And I've been thinking lately...why are these not doable? Thousands of people do each of these things every day. Millions, likely. Maybe even billions. It is only I that said I can't do these things.

It sounds like such a simple, basic, self-help 101 thing, that you set your own limits. But you do. And I definitely do. Some of these things are things I've tried and decided "No, I don't like that." But that's morphed into "I can't do that," and that's not fair. That's not right, either.

So, here's to doing the possible.

What limits have you set on yourself? What's in your "not doable, avoid" bin?

5Dec/111

December Goals

Not belated! Well, technically belated, but only very slightly, so I’m giving myself a pass.

I managed to keep my spending down, for the most part, in November, and to keep better eating habits. Unfortunately, the holidays are coming, which means both of those goals will go fully out the window. I know there are plenty of ways to control spending and eat habits while the holidays are on but, frankly, I don’t want to. The holidays are a time for celebration, for fun, for not worrying about things. While I won’t go crazy, I’m not going to restrict myself like mad for this. I am going to try and be a bit more active, though, and that’s reflected in my goals a bit.

  1. Do Christmasy things. I love Christmas. Even though I call it Xmas a lot (that’s mostly a Futurama reference, to be fair). I really love it, and every year I feel like it whips by without giving me the chance to enjoy it. Part of this is because in previous years I’ve been working a retail job (and for the last two years, both a retail and a full time job). This is my first year without the retail job, and I intend to enjoy the free time (and sleep) this affords me. So this means watching Love, Actually, putting on some Christmas music, and visiting the Toronto Christmas Market. You may, in fact, see a vlog from there, if I can find a slightly quiet spot to vlog. Though I feel like I may be okay doing the vlog in public anyway. We’ll see.
  2. Do more yoga. I have a new yoga studio near me that is hopefully opening in the next few days and I hope to go there a few times. Ideally, I’d like to attend their 6am class 3 days a week, but I’m not going to start with that. That may be more of a New Year’s resolution, and during the holidays I think I will need the sleep more than anything else. But even a few Sun Salutations in the morning of a half hour yoga DVD in the evening would be a huge improvement for me.
  3. Stay on top of Twitter. I’d like to be more active. Too often I disappear into WoW on the weekends and ignore everyone on there, and come back to find I missed many awesome and fun conversations. I tried to do this on Sunday and ended up signing up for a great project along with some great folks, so I think I’d like to try and be on top of this more.
  4. Stand up for myself and what I want more. This may sound a little vague, but I try to make everyone happy, and occasionally at the expense of my own happiness. This doesn’t happen all the time, but enough that it has been pointed out to me, so it’s something I’d like to work on. I’m not saying not to do things for others, but to be just a little more selfish on what I want to do and not let myself be guilted into something, or go out and do something just because that’s what I feel like a 26 year old should be doing.
  5. Enjoy the damn holidays and stop worrying.

I think number 5 is the most important, don’t you?

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4Nov/110

Only slightly belated November Goals

Better than November, I, getting my goals out early! I'll admit I didn't get very far into October's, so things are carrying over a bit. I did accept help more often, and I started to work on getting my finances in order. I did poorly in terms of weight, but I'm getting there. I got some professional development done too, though work interfered with one of the sessions I had planned to join.

This month's are maybe a bit more off, but I like them.

Do more for myself. What I mean by this is doing more things independently. Accepting help when it's offered, but not basing my life around it. As an example, my Mom offers most mornings to drive me to the train station. This saves me time and allows for a nice time to chat with her. But it also means I'm relatively dependent on her to drive me home at the end of the day, and I often will avoid staying late at work in order to not have to, at short notice, cancel on her. While this isn't the end of the world, I generally try to be home for dinner and not disturb things. I do want to be respectful of my Mom's time, but I also don't want to be reliant on her, both for drives and dinner. So in general I'd like to start determining my own schedule more, and asking her if this is okay with her. And if it's not, then maybe I start driving myself and cooking for myself, which I am totally okay doing. Things like this in general, where I'm moving away from being dependent on my parents and others, is one of my goals for November.

Spend less than $300 For this I am talking about purchases. Games, movies, music, books. Truthfully I think I mostly do this anyway, but often some great new toy comes out of some big new thing I must have, and that'll be the last big thing I buy, I swear, this will change everything. Yeah. That doesn't happen. So this month I am setting a budget of $300, starting tomorrow. I'm not including meals out, which some others might, but I think these social events are good for me, so I'm okay with those expenses.

Get up 15 minutes earlier This is a small thing, but ideally I'd like to be getting up at 5 or so every day, doing a bit of yoga and meditation, freshly grinding and brewing coffee in my French Press, and cooking a healthy breakfast and reading the paper (on my iPad, of course). But right now I get up sleepily between 6:30 and 6:45 and scarf down whatever I can and rush out the door. This is not my ideal morning at all, and I'd like to change that. But going from that to 5 will likely lead to disaster. So for now, we'll aim for 6:15 and to have a slightly less rushed morning. I'm doing this now, though I'm also feeding the cat while my Mom's away, so I'm still pretty much as rushed as normal, since I have some extra stuff thrown on my plate. Next month, maybe we'll aim for 6.

Those are my simple goals for November. What are some of yours?

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19Oct/113

Belated October Goals

I may eventually just skip a month, but some quick October Goals I wanted to throw out;

  • Regular exercise. I'm starting small here. 10 push-ups a day. While I don't expect to start dropping pounds like this, the idea is to incorporate this into my day, every day, no matter what, and expand on it.
  • Better eating. A lot of this is a mindset, and a choice thing. Keep myself busy in the evening. Make better choices when I'm out. Keep healthy snacks around the office. Greek yogurt with strawberry is a treat.
  • More PD. I've been avoiding this, but I need to get on it. Going to a PD event tomorrow night, have a webinar next week, so there will be a few things like that I'll want to work on.
  • Clean up my room. Keep things more orderly. I've started on this already.
  • Ask for help. I don't often ask for help, from my parents or others. I don't so much mean in any one way, but I often won't accept help even when it's offered, because I feel bad putting people out. And while I think you have to be careful and not take advantage of people, I think I need to be less hard on myself and admit when I need help, and accept it when offered sincerely.

Nothing big and concrete, as goals maybe are supposed to be, but just little things to keep in mind.

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